Inwardly, I have been racing for a long, long time.
I have listened to the voice inside that says things like ‘you should be doing it better’ and ‘you should be doing something else right now’ and ‘look at what So-and-So has done.’ When I pay attention to this voice, I feel stretched and worn, tense and torn. I feel guilty about doing the things that make my heart sing, because there is always a long list of shoulds. Rest is an as-soon-as thing -- always just around the next corner.
Lately, I have started listening to another voice inside. It is a kinder voice. It says things like ‘relax and enjoy this conversation’ and ‘that’s enough work for now’ and ‘it’s okay to just be where your feet are.’ When I pay attention to this voice, the anxious thoughts roll off like water off a duck’s back. I can rest (even when I’m working hard), which lets the people around me rest, too.
I’m learning to be at home right-now (which is really the only place one can be at home).
“Love others as you love yourself.” Galatians 5:14