a bad habit

     Here’s the truth: what I say and do reflects who I am; what somebody else says and does reflects who he is—not who I am.

     Here’s the problem: I have a bad habit of taking somebody else’s snarky mood or look or comment personally. Instead of thinking, “Hmm, he must be having a rough day,” I think, “Yep, just as I suspected. I’m not ____ enough, and he knows it, too.”

     Here’s the solution: little by little, I can practice letting go of my bad habit and letting God change the way I think.

“Let God transform [me] . . . by changing the way [I] think.” Romans 12:2 

kneeling at our feet

     Sometimes I get a fleeting glimpse of God as He really is, and then I want to kneel, too.   

“In vain we search the heavens high above, / The God of love is kneeling at our feet.” Malcolm Guite

“Then He poured water into a basin and began to wash the feet of the disciples. . . .” John 13:5

detours, messes, defeats

     Yesterday, an old friend dropped in out of the blue. I hadn’t seen her in ages, and I was shocked. I had my usual too-long list of places to go and things to do, and her visit wasn’t on my list. We talked and we laughed and we reminisced. Later, when I looked backward from day’s-end and asked myself the question I try always to ask myself (“What was the most life-giving part of my day?”), the answer was clear: the visit. I wonder how often the most life-giving part of my day comes disguised as an out-of-the-blue detour—or even as a mess or a defeat?  

“[W]e need . . . a conviction in our bones that [God’s] purposes and his presence often come disguised as detours, messes, defeats.” Mark Buchanan

“At that moment, open-eyed, wide-eyed, they recognized Him.” Luke 24:31

little things

     Someone who loves me gave me the gift of an overnight in the country. I didn’t plan it or orchestrate it or pay for it or earn it. It was gift, and I lived it as gift. I looked for all the little things that were gift—rain and fire and quiet and tastes and nowhere to go and a good book and good company. I savored all the little things. I didn’t hurry past them or toss them aside or ruin them with complaint and comparison. And the little things, all together, perfumed the air.

“Little things seem nothing, but they give peace like those meadow flowers which individually seem odorless but all together perfume the air.” Georges Bernanos

“I will give thanks to the Lord (for today’s little things, too). . . .” Psalm 9:1 (parenthetical added)

shine like a jewel

     I want to shine like a jewel in the eyes of certain people. The more I want to shine in their eyes, the harder it is to be myself around them. I can’t relax and enjoy their company, because I’m trying so hard to make sure they enjoy mine. It’s exhausting.

     Every once in a while, I remember this simple truth: I am powerless over what other people think of me. That puts a skip in my step. It lets me stop trying, so I can relax and be myself. Before I know it, I’ve forgotten about wanting to shine in their eyes. I’m just enjoying their shining in mine.

“If I could be granted a wish, I’d shine like a jewel in your eyes.” Bette Midler

“Stop striving, relax, let go. . . .” Psalm 46:10

hurry

     Wise people say that hurry is making us sick, body and soul, so I’m trying to quit. Little by little, I’m practicing things like walking slowly and eating slowly, reading slowly and answering slowly. Sometimes I choose to hurry anyway. That’s okay. I just say, “Now isn’t that interesting?” because I can see now that the hurry is usually a habit, not a have-to. That’s still a big improvement over decades of always telling myself the same exhausting thing: hurry.

“Ruthlessly eliminate hurry, for hurry is the great enemy of the spiritual life in our world today.” Dallas Willard

“Stop striving, relax, let go and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10