You can’t change somebody else. You can’t change her behavior and you can’t change her attitude. You can’t change the way she feels or the way she reacts. But you sure can try. You can try very hard for years and years. You keep trying because it feels like you can’t be whole and happy until she changes. If one approach doesn’t work, you try another. It’s a lot like trying to catch the wind – you end up exhausted and empty-handed.
You can’t catch the wind, and you can’t change somebody else, so you might as well quit trying. The funny thing is, once you quit, you get a joyful surprise: you find out that you can be whole and happy whether she changes or not. And that is very good news (for both of you).
“I want to hide a while behind your smile. . . . Ah, but I might as well try and catch the wind.” Donovan
“In the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.” Psalm 63:7