the committee meeting

          Lately I’ve been off-balance, and now I know why. It’s the committee inside. A few members are trying to take over again. They’re so loud and strident that I can hardly hear the others. In fact, lately I’ve been forgetting that there are others.

     The ones who are trying to take over are feeling unsafe and threatened. They’re scared of losing control. That’s because change is on the horizon, and they like status quo. Change scares them, so they go into high gear trying to protect me. They come up with long to-do lists and tell me that, if I can just get those things done, I’ll feel safe and in control again. I know they mean well, but they’re making me as tired and anxious as they are.

     So this morning I spent some time listening to the other committee members -- the ones who haven’t had much airtime recently. I liked what they had to say.

     A few of them are actually excited about the change that’s coming. They like adventure. They’re sick of same-old-same-old. They want fresh air. They reminded me of all the possibilities – new experiences, new people, new ways of thinking and seeing and doing. They say that I’ll feel a lot freer when I stop trying so hard to stay in control. They want me to start letting life flow with beauty, ease and grace. I like how I feel when I listen to them.

     There are other committee members who want change, too, but they have a different focus. They mostly want me to love. They want me to treasure other people and music and myself. They don’t want the to-do lists to get in the way. They want to simplify. I like that idea, too.

     Now that I’ve listened to everybody on the committee, life feels balanced again. I’m glad I called a meeting.

 “May the Lord . . . give you His peace.” Numbers 6:24-26